I met Cassandra through my close friend & sorority sister, Crystal. She’s sharp, funny, and as appropriate as Snoop Dog taking your daughter to prom. Also, she’s awesome and smart. I dig her and knew she could sound off on a topic that I will be writing about, myself, later on. For now, I lend the floor to Cassandra (whom, I might add wants me to sell photos off my butt to fund a trip to NYC to see Big Fish on Broadway).
Hey there! I’m honored to be asked to be a guest writer on Ms. Sara Rose’s blog and I am truly honored! A subject that seems to be constantly relevent, but also constantly exhausting at the same time, is the Mommy Wars. I was going to talk specifically about the battle between working moms and stay-at-homes moms, but I think that is actually just one of the many things we all catfight about. Meow.
Child-wearing, breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, breastfeeding duration, who comes first (children, husband, or dogs), organic baby food, whether or not we let our kids watch television and how much of it, spanking, swearing in front of our children, home-school, public school, time-outs, baby talk, vaccines, antibiotics, holistic or traditional medicine, snacks. These are just a few of the many things related to child-rearing that we all make decisions about. We have to make a decision, it’s part of being human.
There is one scenario that I find to be very frustrating. It’s something I have found myself grinding my teeth together about throughout my lifetime. When I am at a place in my life where I have to make a decision, I have to choose a path. We all have been here. So I choose the path, and then realize that people started to judge me for going down Road A, as opposed to Road B, C, D, or E. Or taking the blue pill instead of the red pill. This is how I often feel about child-rearing. You really can only make one choice at a time, we can change our mind at any time, but we often are unable to see every possible effect our decisions have before we make the decision, or ever. I nursed both of my boys until they were six months old. I now wish I had nursed them longer, but at the time, I felt it was all that I could take. And honestly, I wanted to drink wine again. Judge away. But I can guarantee that other mothers, those who may have a certain, ahem, opinion about my decision to say no to milk and yes to wine, have made their own decisions based upon their own criteria. AND THAT IS OKAY.
Hey, look, we are all doing the best we can with what we have and what we know at the time. We all love our children.If you notice your friend snaps at her kids too much, try offering to help her instead of walking away and telling your other mom friends what a bad mom she probably is. Speak softy to her, because I guarantee she is judging herself in a much harsher way than you ever could. As moms, we NEED one another so much. I know I do. I need you guys. And not just moms. I need to be able to talk with other parents, including dads, about my decisions and get honest, open feedback delivered in a way that doesn’t make me feel small. I suspect that we all do.
So, let’s discuss, people. Thoughts?